Let’s keep it real! Many people are not skilled in offering feedback.
Suppose you are offered poorly delivered feedback by someone you can’t stand. You may feel irritated, annoyed or frustrated. You could label that particular feedback experience as ‘negative’. But let’s suppose you were open to the person’s feedback, considered it, then implemented it, and the impact of that was immediate and fabulous. You then feel wonderful!
Do you label that feedback as ‘positive’ or ‘negative’? It is neither—so let’s go with a more neutral description: The feedback was ‘useful’.
Alternatively, you could be offered the most eloquently expressed and beautifully delivered feedback from someone with whom you have a great relationship. You might feel ‘positive’ in the moment, but the feedback might not be useful. You can’t action it and the person who delivered it hasn’t considered the bigger context—so you feel frustrated. Do you label that feedback as ‘positive’ or ‘negative?’ It is neither—so let’s go with a more neutral description: The feedback was ‘not useful’.
Resist judging the feedback as positive or negative, and stick with terms for describing it that are similar to ‘useful’ or ‘not useful’; ‘actionable’ or ‘not actionable’; and ‘effective’ or ‘ineffective’.
Keep in mind when you are offering feedback, it is the person receiving the feedback who decides whether the feedback you offer is useful or not. We often mistakenly believe the feedback we offer is fabulous!