'Offering’ feedback, rather than ‘giving’ feedback.
The next time you are in a feedback conversation, try using the term ‘offering feedback’, rather than ‘giving feedback’. By making this deliberate change, you are helping the other person feel more empowered. This is especially true if there is a power imbalance, for example, you are in a leadership position offering feedback to a direct report.
When we ‘give’ someone feedback, it sounds like they have no choice other than to accept it. When we ‘offer’ them feedback, they can decide:
Whether they are open to considering it
How they will think about the feedback you are offering
To what degree they will take what is said onboard.
Language is also important when it comes to Annual Performance Reviews. Replace, ‘I’m giving you a rating of XYZ’, with, ‘You have earned a rating of XYZ’. It’s way more empowering and the person feels they are more in control of their future ratings. For example, if they have earned a three-star rating, they can earn a 4 or five-star rating. It feels within their control.