I recently asked 126 people to describe their worst feedback experiences in the workplace. Their experiences fell into fourteen categories.  Take a look at the top fourteen categories people used when describing their worst workplace feedback experiences, and use it as a checklist as you reflect on your own feedback offering:

Top Five Feedback Frictions:

1. Lack of feedback / Not receiving enough feedback - 16%

2. Receiving only critical feedback - 14%

3. Being offered fluffy / unclear / confusing feedback - 14%

4. The person offering the feedback did not listen during the conversation - 9%

5. The feedback was offered in a public forum - 8%

Other honourable mentions: (all less than 8%)

1. Poorly delivered by the person offering the feedback

2. A third party was used to deliver feedback

3. Making the feedback about the person rather than the performance (like a personal attack)

4. The person offering the feedback not seeing bigger picture / context

5. The feedback was received poorly by the recipient

6. The person offering the feedback made the feedback about themselves

7. The feedback was threatening

8. There was a lack of trust in the relationship / no relationship

9. No warm-up or warning – the feedback was unexpected.

What can you do to reduce friction in your feedback conversations?

Let's take a look at the top three causes of friction in feedback conversations:

1. Lack of feedback / Not receiving enough feedback - 16%

Rather than guessing or assuming you are offering enough feedback, shift your attention out and ask your direct reports if they believe they are being enough feedback by you, then negotiate and if possible, adjust your feedback offering accordingly.  For example, researcher Karie Willyerd states:

‘Overall, Millennials want feedback 50% more often than other employees. They also told us that their number one source of development is their manager, but only 46% agreed that their managers delivered on their expectations for feedback’.
Link - click here

2. Receiving only critical feedback - 14%

In the Feedback Fitness Framework, ‘critical’ feedback falls under ‘Evaluation Feedback’.  It’s important you offer all three types of feedback, and the order is important too:

Being offered fluffy / unclear / confusing feedback - 14%

To avoid offering fluffy feedback, stick to these six simple criteria -
Is the feedback I am offering:

• Meaningful to the recipient (important to them, do they care?)

• Detailed and specific rather than global

• Within a context e.g. ‘When presenting in the executive meetings…’

• Actionable and repeatable

• Within their control

• Can they make a movie in their mind of what you are saying, of how to implement it, what action to take? (e.g., ‘Step into your authority’ is hard to make a movie of!)