Think of Feedback as a conversation, rather than an event
When Leaders describe ‘giving feedback’, it often sounds as if it is a one-off ‘event’ – rather than a series of interactions. Feedback happens in interactions, often conversations that occur within a relationship, and in a shared context. The danger of the ‘event’ rather than conversation approach is that it can be hard (for both parties) to keep the conversation going once the feedback has been offered.
The Feedback Fitness Framework provides structure in the form of three separate feedback conversations.
Warm Up: The ‘meta’ conversation. It’s the conversation/s that happen about feedback. These are about setting up your future feedback conversations for success.
Work Out: The conversation where you actually offer the feedback and the other person responds to your feedback. You are speaking and listening.
Cool Down: The conversation that happens after the feedback has been offered.
Implementation + Cool Down Conversation
You offer the feedback, it is implemented, and you have a Cool Down conversation about the impact of the implementation, what worked well, next steps are discussed and planned. The conversation continues. This is good!
Implementation + No Cool Down Conversation
The feedback you offer is implemented, but there is no talk of the impact of the implementation, or next steps. The opportunity to build on the implementation is lost. Celebration cannot occur, or future changes cannot be suggested. It might be ok in some situations, but you have lost the opportunity to build momentum in some situations.
No Implementation + Cool Down Conversation
You offer the feedback, it is not implemented, and you have a conversation about what got in the way of implementation, next steps are discussed and planned. You offer your support; the other person has a chance to discuss barriers. The conversation continues in a productive way.
No Implementation + No Cool Down Conversation
This is worst-case scenario. You offer the feedback, it is not implemented, and you do not have a conversation about what got in the way of implementation, there is no discussion of next steps. It may feel awkward. Sometimes it can feel like there is an elephant in the room. Leave it too long and it feels too hard to mention the topic again.
As you can see above, you can use the Cool Down conversation to ensure the feedback conversation continues. As Leader, it may be up to you to initiate the Cool Down conversation whether the feedback was implemented or not. Both parties might need to step into courage to keep the conversation going.
Let me know if I can help you keep the conversation going…