I was coaching a leader recently with a rather ‘interesting’ team. She shared that three of the five people in her team ‘hate’ feedback, and she was worried about having feedback conversations with them. We worked through the Feedback Fitness Framework, planned out her series of conversations, and she felt a lot more confident about starting the process.
1. They are not ‘Warmed Up’
The first conversation in the Feedback Fitness Framework is the one where you talk about feedback, but don’t offer any feedback. This is where you are connecting, building trust and doing all the groundwork to set up your future conversations. When it comes to feedback, people LOVE it when there are no surprises.
2. They are not receiving the type of feedback they want and need.
In the second feedback conversation, where you offer the feedback, it is useful to ensure you offer the three different types of feedback. For example, many people LOVE it when you offer them Acknowledgement, Evaluation and Guidance Feedback.
3. They are not offered feedback in the most effective order.
Research has found that the order in which you offer the three different types of feedback is super important. People LOVE being offer feedback in the correct order. The conversation flows and makes sense.
4. They make the feedback about themselves, rather than their performance.
When you are offering feedback, use language that helps the person know the feedback is related to their behaviour, skill, decision or performance, not them as a person. People LOVE knowing you are not attacking them as a person, and your feedback is about their performance (feels much easier to change).
5. They might not know what the intention is of the person offering them the feedback.
State your intention for offering the feedback before you offer it. My research has shown that when people are not clear on the reason why you are offering the feedback, they are less receptive to it. People LOVE it when you state your intention for offering feedback.
6. They might not get a ‘Cool Down’.
If you are offering feedback, it is your responsibility to do the follow up work after the conversation. This is the third feedback conversation, the ‘Cool Down’. This is the conversation in which you check in on their wellbeing, your relationship with them and whether they have implemented the feedback. People LOVE it when you follow up, take the time to show that you care, and take an interest in them.