Do you love public speaking? (Some people DREAD it).
What about feedback about your public speaking skills? (Double dread for some people!)
I interviewed Keith Abraham, a professional speaker. He has made a career public speaking and over the past 28 years has spoken to 1.7 million people in 41 different countries. He knows a thing or two about public speaking! I was curious about how he thinks about feedback, so I asked him.
‘I believe feedback is in direct parallel with growth. If you want to grow, develop, enhance, go to the next level, elevate yourself, accelerate your success, then you need to gain feedback from people that you value. People who will help elevate you. What tends to happen when people get feedback is they're getting a perspective that they're not seeing in themselves. We are all too close to it. Throughout my whole career I've had great mentors who have given me great feedback.’
Although Keith is open to feedback, he shared this story about a time he rejected feedback:
‘You want feedback from people who have already walked the pathway before you. I was in New Zealand at a speaker conference. I just delivered an afternoon keynote to the group. This person came up to me and she said, "Oh, can I give you some feedback on your presentation?" I said, "No." She said, "Oh, that's not very accommodating."
I explained; "No, don't get me wrong. Here's the challenge. I don't know you. I don't know if you speak five times a year, fifty times a year, a hundred times a year. I don't know your background. So I'm not going to take feedback from someone who I don't know their history or their background”. In essence, what I was really saying was, “you don't have enough trust, rapport and credibility with me for me to trust what you're going to say."
Having met Keith a few times now, I know he would have said this politely and professionally. His story is a great example of making sure you are asking for feedback from people who are qualified to offer it. If someone offers you feedback, and you are not sure of their credibility, intention or qualifications, give yourself permission to politely decline their feedback.