How do you decide if feedback offered to you is ‘positive’ or ‘negative’?

Imagine you are offered poorly delivered feedback by someone you can’t stand. You may feel irritated, annoyed or frustrated. You could label that particular feedback as ‘negative.’ Was it the feedback that was negative, or your experience of receiving the feedback?

Now imagine you were open to their feedback, considered it, implemented it, and the impact was immediate and fabulous. You feel wonderful! Do you label that feedback as positive or negative? Neither – let’s go with a more neutral term, the feedback was ‘useful.’

Alternatively, you could be offered the most beautifully delivered feedback from someone you have a great relationship with. You might feel ‘positive’ in the moment, but the feedback is just not useful. You can’t action it, they haven’t considered the bigger context, and you feel frustrated. Do you label that feedback as ‘Positive’ or ‘Negative.’ Neither – let’s go with the more neutral term, ‘Not Useful.’

Resist judging feedback offered to you as positive or negative, and stick with terms like useful or not useful, actionable, or not actionable, effective or ineffective. When offering feedback to others, it is the person receiving the feedback who decides if the feedback you offer is useful or not. We often mistakenly believe the feedback we are offering is fabulous!