As you may have experienced, both offering and being open to receiving feedback takes courage. When we are not courageous in our feedback offering, we withhold it, deliver it poorly, or rush it and then run away, with no opportunity for the recipient to respond.
When we are not courageous in our feedback receiving, we are more likely to get our defences up. We don’t listen, we miss the opportunity to learn, and we may be upset or emotional.
How do we become more courageous when it comes to feedback? The following model outlines the process for offering feedback that lands:
Warm Up: This is where we have a conversation about feedback before we offer any. We ask the recipient what they believe about receiving feedback. We explain our intentions, and we ask permission.
Work Out: This is where we offer the feedback. Generally, we offer Acknowledgment Feedback, followed by Evaluation Feedback, followed by Guidance Feedback. The order is super important. It can go pear-shaped if we skip a step.
Cool Down: This is where we check on the recipient, our relationship, and the effectiveness of the feedback itself. This is where the recipient can ask for further clarification and is not left wondering what the Leader’s feedback meant.
Diving Deeper into Courage: Warm Up + Work Out + Cool Down = Courage
The development of courage occurs at the intersections of these three processes. The Warm Up, Workout and Cool Down combined, allow for both the *Leader and the recipient to be courageous, clear and kind in regard to feedback.
When both the Leader and recipient are clear on the way the feedback is best delivered, the best feedback will be delivered! The Leader will feel more prepared, and the recipient will have a clear idea of the intention of the Leader. Both will feel safe enough to truly listen to the other.
Because the feedback is delivered and received well in the Work Out, the Cool Down allows for clarification, further questions, next steps and continuous improvement. Recipients feel safe to share how they went implementing the feedback offered to them (or not!).
The Cool Down and Warm Up are both about promoting psychological health at work. They are simple controls that reduce the risk that feedback will be experienced as a psychological hazard. This intersection allows for Deep Listening and Continuous Improvement to occur.
*Leader – I’ve used the word Leader here - it could be any person offering the feedback.