You may have heard of the feedback sandwich approach, also commonly referred to as a very unpleasant type of sandwich. Basically, it involves offering feedback in the following format: start with ‘positive’ feedback, offer the ‘negative’ feedback, then finish with ‘positive’ feedback.
Personally, I don’t like it.
If delivered poorly, this approach can sound fake and scripted. It’s in danger of being confusing instead of clear, and it certainly doesn’t feel like a two-way conversation. It feels like a cop-out, like trying to ‘hide’ what the person offering the feedback really wants to say, (but is afraid to say), between two ‘nice’ comments. It feels like the person offering the feedback is fearful of how the feedback will be received, so they are trying to cover all bases.
Adam Grant, a popular organisational psychologist, has this to say about the feedback sandwich approach:
‘It doesn't help to bury criticism between two compliments. The feedback sandwich doesn't taste as good as it looks. Beginnings and ends are more likely to stick in our memories than middles’.
If you feel the need to try to ‘soften’ the feedback you intend to offer, it’s a sign you have not engaged in adequate Warm Up Conversations. Have those conversations first, before you offer ANY feedback.
Offer three types of feedback in the following order:
Acknowledgement Feedback – tell them what they are doing well.
Evaluation Feedback – let them know how they are going according to expectations.
Guidance Feedback – let them know how they can improve.
While the order is super important, it’s not as important as listening to the person in front of you. During the feedback conversation, allow for silence and opportunities for the recipient to contribute to the conversation. Demonstrate that you are listening by allowing for space for them to process the information, and ask you questions. Offer the feedback and WAIT (ask yourself, Why Am I Talking?)
Move away from judging feedback as ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ feedback. Instead, try considering and discussing to what degree the feedback is useful to the recipient.
For example, is the feedback you offer:
Within your agreed feedback offering ‘scope’
Specific (in the level of appropriate detail and certain contexts)
Things that are within the recipient’s control
Actionable by the recipient
Timely by you
No need for any sandwiches in your feedback conversations.
You might like to check out Adam Grant’s book, Think Again, and his podcast.